walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
