i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
this boner is exhausting
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
