Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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