I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
