that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
operation harelip BJ is a go
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
