if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
