youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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