Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize