I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
