I wanna passion pit in your ass
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize