By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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