ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
