Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
