Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
she peed on how many people?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Randomize
