they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
