no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
All I want is dick and wine.
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