She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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