I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize
