i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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