i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
