Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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