This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
