Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
50% drunk capacity currently
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
