when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
