Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
