so explain again why im purple
no
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
