I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
