Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize