I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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