just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
