Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
