i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
