hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
