I accidentally had phone sex last night
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
