We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
