you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
