Whoa Z and x make the same sound
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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