your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Randomize
