I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize