haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize