Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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