Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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