after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Be still, my beating vagina.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize