Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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