Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
