remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
