Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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