his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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