Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
