so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize