2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize