I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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