sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
