the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
