:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
So vagazzling was a success
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
