Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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