She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
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