do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
