This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
