youre lurking in front of me
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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