I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
