That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Randomize
