What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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