You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize