this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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