he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize