My girlfriend figured out who you are.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
