You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
