i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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