Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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