i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Randomize
