we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
