This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize