I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
