??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Are my feet made of real feet?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
