Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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