Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize