Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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