I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
