listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
